I Dnfed My First Book

I have never dnfed a book.

No matter how much I struggle to read a book, I will always finish it. Once I start I either feel obligated to finish the book or I convince myself that it may get better. Other times it’s because the book is popular and I feel like I should read all of it or I wont be ‘on the in’.

But I’m working on this. I’m trying to be better at cutting off the books that aren’t working for me. I’ve come up with the rule that if it’s not working once I pass 100 pages, I’ll stop and not force myself. When I force myself to finish a book, I set myself up for the daunting book slump and I hate that feeling of not enjoying or being able to read books I’m excited for.

So, I decided to dnf my first book and it’s a book I’ve been really liking.

I decided to dnf Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. I think part of the reason I’m deciding to dnf it is because I’m struggling to read it.  I connect with the characters very well and I absolutely love how it’s written. There’s nothing wrong with the book that’s making me put it down, it’s more me.

It’s my mental state. My mind isn’t in the right place to be reading a heavy book (or at least it is to me). I push my self through chapters and it’s just not healthy, even if I do enjoy it.

So I’ve decided to put it down for now and focus on reading something light and fluffy until I’ve dragged myself out of this slump. But I do plan on picking it back up in the future and finishing it because these characters, I love them. And the book is so life like, I can relate to it on certain things.

Now I feel able to move on since I got it out of my system. It’s not easy for me to admit that I’m not in the right state to do things, usually I push through them, so this, it feels good.

Books I’ll Be Screaming About Until I get My Hands On Them

AAAAHHHH LOOK AT THESE BOOKS ON THIS LIST. GO LOOK AT THEM. THEY’RE SO BEAUTIFUL.

Honestly, this is a very short list. Of course there are tons of books I look forward to reading and can’t wait to be released. But this list, this list is the ones I’d journey through the depths of hell to retrieve.

*Side eye* wow. That was a bit extreme.

Anyways, let’s continue.

I don’t even know what book to start with. They’re all so equal in my mind for different reasons and I don’t think I could choose one over the others.

Heartstopper by Alice Oseman:

Alright, I’m starting with this one because I’ve already read it. In fact, you can read it too. It’s a webcomic over on Tapas. And I have the Kickstarter copy of this book but IT’S GETTING PUBLISHED! I WILL BE SHOUTING FOREVER ABOUT HOW YOU SHOULD PRE-ORDER IT. And it means so much to me I need every copy of it.

It’s a cute little fluffy story of two teens navigating school, family, and discovering themselves and it means a lot to me. It’s happy, for the most part, and it’s one of the first books/comics I read with gay characters when I was struggling and trying to figure out my sexuality. This is a story that I will always hold dearly.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR IT TO BE PUBLISHED AND HAVE THE PHYSICAL COPY IN MY HANDS <3 I’M GOING TO BE SHOUTING IN TO THE VOID ABOUT THESE CHARACTERS UNTIL I DIE AND EVERY ONE READS IT.

Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston:

This one is a new adult romcom and I’M LIVING FOR IT. Honestly every time I see snippets of this book I die on the inside knowning I have to wait so long for it to be in my hands. *Cries in corner at the thought.* It’s got a president’s son and royalty in the form of a prince in a fake friendship with each other and this is the plot to a book i’ve been wanting for ages.

I just-I’m so excited all I can think of  doing is printing off a picture of this book with the description and gesturing furiously at it. How can you not like it? It’s like my dream book in physical form. And if you're just as excited for this as I am, but can't find the pre-order link, here it is. I WILL BE SHOUTING ABOUT THIS FOREVER.

I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver:

I’M JUST GOING TO SHOUT THAT THIS BOOK IS SO IMPORTANT. I ALMOST FEEL THE NEED TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS TO GET THE POINT ACROSS (but I’m not because that hurts my eyes to read). As someone exploring their gender and not being quit comfortable using the title nonbinary or asking people in real life to use certain pronouns because of some family, this book is so freaking important.

I cannot stress this enough. Every time I hear about it, I get the same giddy feeling I had when I yearned to read Simon Vs. because it was the first book that I heard about that represented me as a gay person. And I’m so excited that there is a book that has a nonbinary main character. There’s the little hope that, oh, there are people like me out there and they feel the same things as me. It’s like a validation that there’s nothing wrong with you, that it’s everyone else who should change not you.

And I know people have said there are other books with nonbinary main characters out there, but this one is close to my heart because it’s the first one I’ve heard about. I’ll probably cry reading it like I’ve done before with my other ‘first’ queer book/s. Just go on and pre-order this book everyone.

Hot Dog Girl by Jennifer Dugan:

Hi, yes, this book owns my heart and I haven't even read it yet. But the synopsis sold me and it just kept getting better with every line.

GUYS AS A KID I DRESSED UP AS A HOT DOG FOR HALLOWEEN. The title alone had me hooked and ready to read.

[Picture as proof. My family tried so hard to get me to go as something else. I was in 3rd grade and not going for it]

Trying to set her friend up and scheming to get closer to someone BUT IT'S A QUEER BOOK. Hello, yes, it's my favorite story trope and I want it.

I'm sorry but "coming-of-age queer romance stars a princess, a pirate, a hot dog, and a carousel operator" I'M IN, I AM SOLD. THIS IS A BOOK I'D DROP EVERYTHING TO READ.

I honestly need more info on this book because this is not enough for my excitement and I am an impatient bean.

Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins: I talked about Red White and Royal Blue, now it's time to geek out about this YA royal story with a girl and her princess roommate.

My little gay heart is freaking out peeps.

AND IT'S AT A BOARDING SCHOOL . . . IN SCOTLAND. SCOTLAND PEOPLE, SCOTLAND.

THE ROOMATE IS A PRINCESS . . . OF SCOTLAND, A LITERAL PRINCESS.

AND THEY CAN'T STAND EACH OTHER. BUT LIKE FIND THEM SELVES IN THE SORTTA FRIEND SORTTA GIRL FRIEND AREA.

IT'S LIKE MY DREAM BOOK IN FRONT ME. JUST *GRABBY HANDS*.

I need more f/f books of my favorite tropes and such.

So yah, I’d sell whatever’s left of my soul to read these books right now and cradle them in my arms. These books deserve so much hype and these authors and the teams behind them deserve so much love for bringing them in to the world.

Girls of Paper and Fire Review.

Title: Girls of Paper and Fire
Author: Natasha Ngan
Release Date: November 6, 2018
Age Range: 15-17
Genre: Fantasy

Stars: 5/5

Synopsis:

 Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It's the highest honor they could hope for...and the most cruel.

But this year, there's a ninth girl. And instead of paper, she's made of fire.


In this lush fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most oppressed class in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards still haunts her. Now, the guards are back, and this time it's Lei they're after--the girl whose golden eyes have piqued the king's interest.

Over weeks of training in the opulent but stifling palace, Lei and eight other girls learn the skills and charm that befit being a king's consort. But Lei isn't content to watch her fate consume her. Instead, she does the unthinkable--she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens the very foundation of Ikhara, and Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide just how far she's willing to go for justice and revenge.

Review:

OH MY FREAKING GOSH THIS BOOK IS LIFE!

I was in a dark room and this book was like a burning flame that gave me hope.

There are no words to describe how much I love this book. There are several different reasons that I can list. Natasha Ngan did such a wonderful job and I wish I could do her justice in this blog post. I’ll try, but I don’t think I can..

First off I would like to say that this book does have trigger warnings for violence and sexual abuse.

But how she wrote the characters coping and living through the sexual assault makes it feel so real. And through the different characters she portrayed the many ways people cope or see the situation because not everyone thinks and experiances the same things. She wrote it raw and true and didn’t hold back.

And the historical inspiration and influence of imperial China and Chinese and Asian history that she’s talked about bringing into the book. Once you read it, you really see it. It’s so beautifully described and explained through the main character Lei that you can vividly see the setting and life in your mind.

The most exciting thing for me was the f/f rep that was in the book. She wrote the struggle so true. I have several places sticky noted and my favorite saying where she speaks of love. It was so heart wrenching and true that at several parts where Lei talks to or about her love interest, I had to set the book down and take a moment.

Let’s not forget the badass group of characters. Everyone was created so well. All of them strong women with their own personalities, well rounded in my book. Even the paper girls you didn’t like, you couldn’t help but feel their pain and emotion and love them. And Lei, the main character, her development through the story is amazing. The demons (Moon caste) and partial demons (Steel caste) were so well written, from the ones who helped Lei to the ones who were horrible. She managed to bring life to them all and make them human. As a writer who wishes to publish their work, I can only hope my characters are as well written as Natasha’s.

I’d also like to talk about the different castes just for a quick moment. Can I just say that she did a phenomenal job at writing the structure and power struggles between them. It feels so life like and you can picture it in our world today.

Thank you, Natasha, for such a wonderful and touching story that I will cherish forever.

I Started A Blog!

I did the thing! I went a head and started a blog . . . Again. I tried before but the site I used was hard to navigate and it pushed me away from blogging. This time I asked around and looked at them to decide which one I’d like best.

And here we are.

On this blog I plan to post mostly about books. That can be anywhere from book reviews to topics I think are important. Every now and then I’ll make a post about writing (or my writing process) as I figure things our for the story I’m working on. Most of the things I’ll talk about (whether books or writing) will be LGBTQ+ related since that’s where I’m most comfortable. Of course I’ll talk about books and stuff that aren’t about the community but that’s where my post will mostly be.

I’m so excited to get this started!

If you have any ideas or posts you want to see, don’t be afraid to comment. I love hearing feed back and interacting with people.

Thank you for giving me the time,
SavVy